How do I look?

This is Emerson's oversized hat but, she seems to like it. Is it just me or has she started to play to the camera? Ha. She was acting pretty calm then as soon as I pull the camera out she is blowing bubbles and kicking all around. She is such a goofball. 

**Update on disappointment**

After reading this I don't think I can really be that disappointed. Haha. Leave it to internet stalking to put it into perspective. But, really don't read this if you are currently pregnant. It will very likely frighten you. MckMamas Birth Story

Disappointment

Every once in awhile I will start having feelings of disappointment in myself and Emerson's labor. This time I think it is related to me going to La Leche and hearing other women's stories which is bringing up old memories. Don't misunderstand me I've really been enjoying La Leche meetings. It makes me feel normal. Not sure what it is but women who are really into breastfeeding seem to be more likely to co-sleep, want natural births, alternative vaccine schedule, baby wear, etc. Anyways on to my point. :) Somehow I feel cheated that I had to have an epidural, not being able to have the experience I wanted. After some research I think my body saw the pitocin as attacking my body, and went into defense mode to try to keep Emerson in. Which I guess in theory is good, keeping your baby in before it's cooked. So while one set of muscles were contracting the opposing muscles held strong to prevent progression. Uggggh. Before I had Emerson I had watched "The Business of Being Born" and learned about how much pitocin stinks and really didn't want it. But, in the end I had no choice but to induce and my body had no choice but to fight it. After 21 hours of labor, contractions back to back with not a thing going on I kind of felt helpless. It is true that at that point you are very suggestible. So when my midwife suggested to get and epidural to progress I agreed. It did work with Emerson being born 3 hours later, progressing 6cm in 2 hours. But, I'm still left to wonder what would have happened if I had said no? Waited it out a little bit? Would I still have had the same outcome? I guess I will never know and I'm stuck with these "What if" thoughts. Maybe getting them off my chest will quieten them for awhile. It doesn't make it any better that a Doula told me that she heard IntraUterine Growth Restrictions thrown around a lot now. She thinks it is just because they have more advanced measuring techniques, not really that it is a problem. Thanks I feel much better to know that there could have been nothing wrong she was just petite. Oh well. Next time I hope to be very very pregnant before I give birth. I can say that now. :) That's all for the downer of the day, now on to more cheery things like cute pictures of my baby. Did I mention she is cute as can be?!? 

Survey Says....

60% of you say that Emerson is the perfect blend of Mark and I. 30% say she looks like Mark, and I got a 10% pity vote and no I didn't vote for myself. :) No one thought she was too cute to be ours, so thanks! Haha. I just threw that in there for some humor. Anyways I'm going to delete that poll and add a new one. New question is....."What color will Emerson's eyes be?" I think I'll keep this running for around 3 months since by then you can really tell the direction they will be. I think is the key phrase here. They are definitely different than when she was born but I won't give you my opinion because I don't want to influence you. Hehe. Chances are I will be wrong anyways. So please go and vote. It entertains me. :)Yay! The internet is working so here is my newly taken picture. I learned how to do vignetting in photoshop so I'm super excited. I know I'm completely biased but she is the cutest baby ever!

Too much pressure?

If you read my previous post you know that Emerson rolled over. The first day it was about 5 times, the second day 2 times, the third day once. After that she has completely gotten over the idea of rolling over. Maybe if she had only rolled over one time I would think it was a fluke but it was pretty consistent. I'm not sure if this total lack of interest is normal. Perhaps Emerson is just showing me she does what she wants to. Hehe. Here is a picture of her enjoying not rolling over when I encourage her. Because posts without pics aren't quite as fun. Just kidding. My internet is failing me. Ugggghhhh.....Maybe there will pictures later if it improves!

She'll sleep anywhere

Nursery Floor

In the bathroom

She sleeps on the couch, stroller, carseat, baby gym, sling, swing, yet she just stares and babbles to the bedding in her crib. Go figure. At least it entertains her. I'm pretty sure she is convinced the birds on it are real. 

Hilarious!

Baby and Boxer Holding Hands | myLifetime.com

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Maybe Mia and Emerson will become good pals like this.

Am I the only one?

Who thinks that starting a 3-4 month old on solids is good idea? I've read so many "baby blogs" where mom's are starting their babies already on rice cereal, bananas, etc. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who has read the recommendation for the second half of the first year of life. Meaning after 6 months not necessarily starting at 6 months and definitely not 4. I plan on delaying solids a bit because I've done a lot of research on how it's better for the digestive system, and helps prevent allergies. I'm sure our Ped. won't have a problem with that since she is pretty crunchy. :) Now if I could just get my vaccine research done. Ugh.... I still don't have any of the books yet and I really need to get things sorted out before her 4 month appointment. Emerson hasn't had any vaccines at our request. Even the hospital asked me a good 5 times if I wanted her to have the HepB shot. I haven't had the least bit of worry about it considering I exclusively breastfeed giving her the best immune system possible. My gut is to still delay longer based off research on how all the chemicals can effect developing children's brains under a year. I'm not as concerned with autism since the basis for that argument is mostly based on mercury which isn't in vaccines anymore. But, I know a lot of people link it to the MMR combination shot (Measles-Mumps-Rubella) which administers live viruses. Although I've heard they will be bringing back the separate shots in 2011. Decisions, decisions. 

She rolls!

Pushing off

Whoa, how did that happen?!?

Being modest about her accomplishment

Little chica rolled from her tummy to back today. She then proceeded to do it two more times once I flipped her back. She can't roll back to front....yet.  But, now I can't get her to do it anymore. I guess 2 shows is enough. Hopefully she can regain some energy for tonight to show her Daddy! I got so excited when she did it I think I scared her to death. Here are some pictures. These are her second roll. Of course Mia was observing and found it quite interesting.

Our day in the park

Little Feet

Talking away!

Saturday Emerson's Grandpa Randy and Nannie came to visit her so we decided to take a trip to Duke Gardens. We went a few weeks ago, or a month??? Time is running together. :) But, anyways it is still beautiful with tons of flowers blooming. We had a nice picnic in the shade and Emerson took a nice nap with all the nature sounds. Here are a few pics of our day or you can go here to see almost all of them. If you are wondering Mark took all the good pictures. Ha. I can't get the camera when he is around. Hehe.